God Hand is truly something special. It is one of the stupidest, most ridiculous, most infuriating games I have ever had the (mis)pleasure of playing. The game oscillates between bad and astoundingly ultra-terrible, at which point it becomes so bad that it wraps back around to amazing. Sometimes.
Here's an accurate recreation of how God Hand came to be:
Clover Studios Game Designer: Hey, guys! Let's make another critically acclaimed, original, and artistic game like Viewtiful Joe and Okami!
Programmers + Artists: Yea!!
Capcom Executive walks in
Capcom Exec: Sorry everyone, making original and interesting games isn't profitable. Clover Studios is now dead, and you will all be reassigned to work on Mega Man Battle Network 9. Bye!
Capcom Executive exits
Clover Studios Game Designer: fuck. Let's all get wasted tonight and make the shittiest game ever.
IGN gave the game a 3.0 out of 10. A 3.0! You know a game is truly in its own class if it can garner a 3.0 from a major reviewer. From the awkward controls, to the weird camera angle, to the hilariously bad dialogue, something went terribly wrong. Every second playing the game will be spent questioning, "Why? What substances must one ingest to produce and/or play this game? What utter contempt for humanity caused this abomination to be unleashed upon the universe?"
And let me emphasize that God Hand is hard. Unfortunately, hard isn't an extreme enough phrase to adequately convey the difficulty of the game. Therefore, the designers summarize the game as ball-bustingly hard. I found this description especially apt -- particularly after I died for the four hundred fifty-sixth time whilst throwing the controller at the wall, thanks to one of the many bullshit enemies.
And the enemies truly redefine "bullshit". Even a single punch will decimate your life bar, sending you futilely searching for one of the random Pac-Man fruit that "reward" you a few pixels of health. In the unlikely scenario that you manage to scrape by and defeat the last enemy, the game flips you off and randomly spawns a demon enemy simply to crush any hopes and dreams of victory.
In fact, the enemies are so unforgiving that they constantly spout obscure Mike Tyson quotes. Not even the funny quotes -- just random, out-of-context ones, leaving you with no clue what the hell anyone is talking about.
For as horrendously difficult and utterly bad as God Hand is, it has one thing going for it:
Zailotech
i've seen footage of god hand on x-play, and cheat. but it didn't seem that bad till i played it at my friends house. when i played it i instantly put the controler down, hit my friend and said wtf was that!
but okami is a pretty fun game mike. if you havent already try it.